Diary of an Exhibitionist Read online

  Diary of an Exhibitionist

  By Cheri Grade

  Published by Cheri Grade at Kindle Direct Publishing

  Copyright 2015 Cheri Grade

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author

  Chapter 1

  My introduction to exhibitionism was innocuous enough. I must have been about seventeen and getting ready for a night out. In a familiar situation to any girl that age, I couldn’t decide what to wear and was standing in front of my wardrobe with two outfits hanging in front of me. It was either my favourite red dress or an off the shoulder blue top with a white butterfly design paired with tight black leggings.

  “Melanie!” I heard my mum shouting downstairs. “There is someone at the door for you.”

  “I’ll be down in a minute,” I yelled back before going back to my choice. I had been waiting for an opportunity to wear my new top, but wasn’t sure if it was dressy enough for the club we were going to.

  In the back of my mind, I heard my mum opening the door, but I was in my own world. We had all agreed to meet at my house and get a taxi together. It would be the usual crowd, my best friend Laura, her boyfriend Josh and our friends Stephanie and Fraser.

  In a sudden moment of decisiveness, I reached for my dress. It had served me well on many a previous night. We had a cinema trip planned for the next week that I thought my new top would be more appropriate for. However, as I reached forward, I caught a glimpse of movement in the mirror.

  Startled, I turned around. Standing in front of me was Fraser, red faced and with his mouth open and I was stood there in front of him dressed only in my lacy black bra and thong. The couple of seconds that passed as we both stood frozen felt like an eternity.

  To fully understand, I have to explain a bit more about Fraser. Out of all of us, he was the most reserved and studious. He was the first to go home on nights out and had never had a girlfriend. There were rumours that he had once kissed a girl at a party a couple of years ago but I only half believed them. He was a sweet guy and an important part of our group always ready to help organise nights out or to offer a shoulder to cry on if any of us had a problem. I don’t know whether it was his personality or his curly hair and glasses or even his tendency to dress slightly more smartly than required for any particular situation but I couldn’t imagine him as a romantic attachment for anyone.

  …and this was the first guy ever to see me in my underwear.

  I was nowhere near as introverted as Fraser. I liked to go out and meet people. I had let a couple of guys take me out on dates, but it had always been one date, kiss goodnight and then finish before anything got too serious. At that time, I thought of myself as so busy. Age seventeen is when you are supposed to enjoy yourself with no attachments. I knew I had all the advantages that would allow me to get a proper boyfriend later.

  I had long straight blonde hair which fell half way down my back. I was maybe not as stick thin as was the fashion at the time, but I wasn’t fat either. Also the extra weight seemed to collect at my breasts. I smiled at myself on the frequent occasions I saw boys staring at them. The power these gave me was intoxicating.

  Fraser was clearly appreciating the view himself as his eyes widened, fixed on my chest. Recovering from the initial shock, I put up my hand instinctively to cover myself and turned away. With the mirror in front of me, this was something of a futile gesture. However, the movement seemed to bring Fraser to his senses. He mumbled something about waiting downstairs and retreated as fast as he could out of my room.

  I quickly took the dress off the hanger and slipped into it. I could feel the blood rushing through my veins and my face felt like it was burning. Now fully clothed, I just stood in the centre of my room, acutely aware of my heavy breathing as I waited to recover from the experience.

  My mind was racing. Would he tell anyone? What will the others think? I didn’t realise my mum would send him up. Why would she do that? If only I had chosen a few minutes sooner?

  I wasn’t sure how long I had stood there reflecting but I had heard more people arrive. When I finally plucked up the courage to go downstairs, all four of my friends were waiting for me. I greeted them as if nothing had happened. Even Fraser simply said “Hello” to me as if he hadn’t seen me almost naked just a few minutes ago.

  The taxi arrived not long afterwards and took us to the club. I remember very little else about that night. At first I had planned to talk to Fraser, to swear him to secrecy and to make sure he understood that it was an accident, but it was hard with him pretending that nothing had happened. In the end, I just danced and drank as normal until the night felt the same as countless others from that time.

  Whilst I credit that night as starting my journey into exhibitionism, at the time I just felt confused and wanted to forget the incident ever happened. Indeed, life did continue normally for a long time afterwards. In time, I could even talk to Fraser without thinking of that night. It took me a while to recognise, but behind all of the embarrassment and the social awkwardness that I was feeling, there was a deeper truth which I felt strongly, but couldn’t even admit to myself.

  That night I had felt a rush of excitement more vividly than any feeling I had ever felt before and I had liked it.

  Chapter 2

  It was about a year later when everything started to change. Laura and I had got a flat together shortly after she broke up with Josh and we were both picking up casual bar work and waitressing jobs to pay for it. We thought our friendship group from school would last forever but, other than Laura, we had all gone our separate ways. Fraser had gone away to university as we all expected and Stephanie had moved abroad to teach English.

  Despite the rest of the group not being around anymore, Laura and I were getting along as we always had. We had similar personalities - outgoing and determined to enjoy life to the full. However, there was a competitive edge to Laura which I didn’t share and seemed to be growing over time. Whether working, playing card games at home or on a night out she always seemed to be trying to test herself against me. When working at the bar, there was a bonus paid at the end of the month to the barman or barmaid who sold the most and she would always win, much to the frustration of everyone else.

  I didn’t mind so much. Some of the little challenges she devised were fun. There was one night out where she decided we should have a competition to see who could kiss the most guys. I thought I would have a shot. I know my blonde hair and large breasts would give me no trouble in attracting guys. Laura was more petite and had short brown hair. On the outside, she was more plain looking, but I found out that night that she was much more forward. After half an hour, she must have kissed every guy in the club just from going up to them and asking them. I was still talking to the first guy I asked. Surely, it was only polite to talk for a bit after getting my kiss?

  It was on our way home after that night that Laura was teasing me for never getting too close to guys.

  “You should loosen up a bit, Melanie. I bet you’ve never even seen a guy naked.”

  “I think you might have seen too many Laura,” I giggled. “I am sure when the right guy comes along, I’ll be ready.”

  “You need to practice a bit. We’re young. There is plenty of time to be boring later.”

  “I’m not boring,” I said, mock indignantly. “I’ve done all manner of naughty things.”

  “Like what?”

  I paused. The reality was that I had nothing to tell her. Similarly to when I was in school, I just didn’t seem to
ever have the time to sustain a relationship. Guys didn’t ask me out as often as you would think to look at me. Maybe I just scared them off. Laura was looking straight at me, intrigued. Suddenly I didn’t want to disappoint her. “Fraser saw me in my underwear once,” I said.

  I was rewarded with a look of shock from Laura. “I had no idea.”

  When I told her the full story she laughed. It wasn’t as scandalous as she had thought initially but it seemed to satisfy her. We didn’t speak of it again that night and I initially assumed it was forgotten. As big a deal as it had seemed at the time, after the years passed, it had become nothing but a small childhood indiscretion in my mind. It was just a story to convince my more adventurous friend that at least once, I had once done something daring, albeit accidentally.

  Laura hadn’t forgotten what I told her that night. I had no idea at the time but she must have heard something in my voice as I told the story – something that gave away the excitement I had felt that night. I don’t know whether it was that moment or later that she started to plan, but at some point she decided to use this hidden excitement to try to loosen me up. Whether this was a genuine attempt to help me or a facet of her competitive nature to control me, I never found out. In any case, it was the start of the path that led me to become the person I am now.

  Chapter 3

  A week later, Laura and I decided to throw a party. It was something we had done regularly ever since we bought the flat together with three of our friends who also worked at the bar.

  Jake, Paul and Nathan were good fun when you got to know them although they were very typical “lads” in that their conversations tended to revolve around sports and their latest sexual conquests. I think they had given up trying to impress me after I had made it clear I was not interested in their advances. I don’t think Laura had given them much encouragement either although I sometimes caught her looking at Nathan in a hungry way. He was the only friend we have had who was black which seemed to intrigue her.

  To make the party more interesting and to celebrate the start of the holiday season, Laura had suggested that we all come wearing holiday clothes such as Hawaiian shirts, Bermuda shorts and summery dresses. I had been sceptical at first as I couldn’t think of anything I had to wear but Laura was persistent and the guys seemed keen so ultimately I agreed.

  It was the night before the party and Laura and I were shopping for clothes to wear. Both of us saw the dress at the same time. The whole dress was taken up with a beach scene with dolphins leaping out of the sea and an elaborate sandcastle on the back. It was just the right combination of tackiness with a hint of figure hugging sexiness that would be perfect for the party.

  “Not so fast, Melanie. I saw it first,” said Laura, seeing me reach out for the dress.

  “I think it would suit me better,” I said ignoring Laura and searching for my size.

  Laura had already found one for herself and was holding it against herself. “It’s on offer too. This will be perfect.”

  Reaching to the back of the rail, I had also found a dress in my size. I envied Laura always being able to fit in the smallest sizes for everything, but at least the plunging neckline would emphasise my own assets. “Well, I’m buying this. If you want one, you will just have to wear the same, but I’m sure the guys will agree it looks better on me.”

  “That sounds like a challenge,” said Laura lifting her head up to look at me, suddenly with a glint in her eye. “Do you want to make a bet?”

  Laura had been insufferable recently with all her games and I was determined not to let her have her way in this. In retrospect, I was perhaps blinded by my desire to beat Laura at something to put her in her place. “What did you have in mind?”

  “We ask the guys to vote on who looks best at the start of the night without telling them about the bet. Then the loser has to take the dress off and spend the rest of the night in their bikini – to keep in the holiday theme.”

  Laura smiled evilly. I did not even notice that the plan sounded suspiciously well thought out for something which she had supposedly come up with on the spot. Whilst Laura may be more forward with guys, I knew I could look good when I wanted to and I could definitely pull off this dress. The guys were all well aware of her competitive nature and always complained when she won the sales bonus every month so would also enjoy Laura’s humiliation.

  Nevertheless I hesitated. What if I lost? Was I ready to spend a night in front of these guys in just a bikini? Feeling my cheeks start to flush, I remembered the incident with Fraser. It was the first time I had thought of it since I confided in Laura. I remembered the panic at being in just my underwear in front of him and thought how much more humiliating and exciting it would be to be in almost the same state of undress for a whole evening and in front of three guys.

  Laura looked triumphant. I realised that I couldn’t back down now and strangely, I didn’t want to. Win or lose, I felt more excited about this party than I had felt about anything for a long time. “Two dresses it is then,” I said as Laura just continued to smile.

  I wasn’t in work the next day so could spend all day getting ready. Laura had an early shift but was due back at lunchtime. I was determined to make the most of my head start. I managed to book a last minute hair appointment to have my hair highlighted and had ringlets put in. I hadn’t done my hair like this since prom night after school ended but it was my favourite look. On the way back from the hairdressers I was feeling euphoric at outsmarting Laura like this. My hair looked perfect and there was no way the guys would be able to resist me.

  I got home and went straight to my room. Laura was home but sitting watching the television so I was able to sneak by without her noticing me. I didn’t want her to know what I had done until it was too late for her to counter.

  In my room, I occupied myself by choosing what to wear with my dress. We had both agreed to wear a bikini underneath so that the loser would just be able to take their dress off and reveal their outfit for the night. I had a couple of options, but in the end, went for a simple pink bikini. The leg was cut higher than I would have liked, but nobody was going to be seeing it so I didn’t mind. The pink colour was bright enough that it could slightly be seen under the material of the dress which would further emphasise my breasts.

  Pleased with my choice, my next task was to start on my make-up. Having chosen the pink bikini, I decided to match it with pink lipstick. Despite feeling good about my hairstyle, I wanted to leave nothing to chance. As much as I was excited, as the moment the guys were arriving drew closer, I felt increasingly nervous.

  Once I had finished I checked myself in the mirror and smiled when I saw that I hardly recognised myself. My nervousness vanished and I found myself slightly envious that Laura was going to experience the rush of excitement that I had felt on that night with Fraser all those months ago.

  Chapter 4

  Having waited long enough, I pulled on the dress, taking one last look at myself in the mirror and left my room to find Laura. She was in the kitchen getting the food ready. Neither of us were good cooks so dinner was to consist of a number of bowls of nibbles followed by a pizza.

  She was also wearing the dress but it looked completely different. Whilst I showed off my ample cleavage, Laura’s flat breasts were entirely hidden. To be fair, the tightness of the material showed what good shape she was in, but I know that guys prefer a bit of meat on a girl in any case.

  As she turned to look at me, I was gratified to see her take a small gasp of shock as she saw what an effort I had made to get ready. Her short brown hair was hanging loose as it always did. She had gone for a much more minimalist look to her make-up with only a trace of mascara and had concentrated on emphasising her full, bright red lips.

  “Looking forward to our little competition?” I asked, trying to keep the smugness out of my voice.

  “Your hair looks amazing,” said Laura, good naturedly. “It is definitely going to be close.”

  I was annoyed tha
t she didn’t seem more upset. I was determined that she fully felt like the rest of us did when she always won any competitions. It was so unusual to see Laura not be competitive, especially given the stakes of our bet. “I think it will be less close than you think. I know you don’t like to lose, but everyone has to lose some times.”

  “Indeed, but wouldn’t you like to show our friends how you look in your bikini? I can see you have put on the sexy pink one.”

  Self-consciously, I noticed one of the straps had slipped and was visible. I hastily corrected it, but was suddenly conscious that the bright colour of the bikini was visible under the thin material of my dress where it stretched over my breasts. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to get all the attention when you have to drop your dress,” I said, trying to cover my discomfort.

  Laura started to say something, but was interrupted by the buzzer at the door. The game was about to begin.

  Jake and Paul were standing at the door as Laura opened it to greet them. They were brothers so it was not unusual to see them together. Their faces first looked surprised to see Laura and I standing in identical dresses and then broke into grins.

  “Looking hot ladies,” said Jake.

  “Copying our idea of co-ordinating our outfits,” said Paul.

  They were both dressed in khaki shorts and garish Hawaiian shirts which were identical except that Paul’s was blue and Jake’s was green.

  “There is a reason for that,” said Laura. “We’ll have to wait for Nathan to let you know why.”

  “Sounds interesting,” said Paul, leering at first Laura then me. “I can’t wait to find out.”

  We had only just ushered Jake and Paul inside and pointed them in the direction of the snacks when the door buzzed again.

  This time I answered the door and Nathan was standing there in front of me. He was wearing a pair of tight shorts with a blue and green zigzag pattern and a tight white vest top which did nothing to cover his dark, muscular chest. I knew that he worked out but had never seen him like this before. Every item of clothing seemed to be designed to show off the perfect body underneath. Involuntarily, I felt my eyes fall to his crotch before catching myself.